Playing the dating game isn't easy in the digital age

Staff Writer
Times Herald-Record

Apparently being single is where it’s at.

You may have seen previews for “How to Be Single,” a Valentine’s Day weekend release starring Dakota Johnson (“Fifty Shades of Grey”) and Rebel Wilson (“Pitch Perfect”). It has a pretty simple plot: Young woman moves to New York City after ending a long-term relationship and deciding to enjoy single life; hilarity ensues.

Meanwhile, Dairy Queen is softening the blow for single folks this Valentine’s Day by serving up the Singles Blizzard Treat, which includes salted caramel truffles, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and peanut butter topping. It’s unknown whether you have to produce a ring-less hand to buy the treat.

You may think it’s seemingly chic to be single, but really corporations are responding to mere statistics. Only 16 percent of people age 18-29 were married, according to a 2014 Gallup poll. That number was down from 32 percent, recorded just eight years before. In that same poll, 64 percent of those age 18-29 identified as single, up from 52 percent in 2004.

That’s a hefty change. Among other things people call millennials, they’re also known as an unattached generation of people, deciding to at least delay marriage until their late 20s and early 30s. The reasons we know by now: lack of income, inability to secure a home independent of parents, prioritizing work before family.

Now that’s starting to change, with older millennials beginning to settle down and raise families, causing an increase in home sales and child-care services. Heck, Chrysler is bringing back the minivan.

But nothing has changed too dramatically yet, making it a moment for corporations to capitalize on singledom. “How to Be Single” tries really hard to align itself with millennials, with references to Tinder and emoji. Being single is the best, the movie seems to say, though I’m sure our main character will realize something about herself in the end, causing her to question whether playing dating roulette in New York City is really such a great idea.

By the way, playing dating roulette is no fun. You’re constantly wondering how another person feels, which in the digital age means talking yourself out of texting that person too soon, or not looking at his or her Instagram to see if he or she is having fun without you.

I can’t imagine life on Tinder, which to me looks like the Sears catalogue of dating. Imagine seeing someone’s face and vital information, then having the power to deny him in a moment’s notice, without him ever knowing. The power is absurd.

It’s possible this mentality is helping to delay marriage for millennials. How can someone ever be satisfied when Tinder demands you make an immediate decision? And how can someone ever be happy when he’s paranoid that he made one mistake during a four-hour date?

We put too much pressure on ourselves to find someone. Find happiness in the process of being yourself; don’t let everyone else - including an app - tell you how being single, or being in love, should be.

And don’t bring back the minivan, I beg you.

Read more from Timothy at tsmalcolm.com. Email him at tsmalcolm@gmail.com.