Among the many scenes in the golden era of “The Simpsons” that spoke truth to power was the moment in “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” when a horde of little girls stampeded toward the latest Malibu Stacy doll in a box that featured the words “With NEW Hat!”
“Wait! Don’t be fooled!” yelled Lisa Simpson, throwing herself between the rack of dolls and the charging children. “She’s just a regular Malibu Stacy with a stupid, cheap hat!”
From the back of the crowd, Waylon Smithers called out, “But she’s got a new hat!” And the crowd surged forward, trampling Lisa and ignoring her new Third Wave of Feminism doll.
Poor Lisa. She forgot the first rule of capitalism, courtesy of Marshall Field and P.T. Barnum: Give the people what they want, but always leave them wanting more.
Those rules are in evidence every year around this time — well, nearly every year — at Six Flags Great America, which closes its gates with the arrival of the school calendar but still manages to give its fans just enough to want more.
Two summers ago, one Internet tease after another resulted in the unveiling of Goliath, the roller coaster that would be the park’s new king. Here in the last week of August 2015, with the workers back in school and the park closed on weekdays, fresh hooks have been dropped in the water of social media, setting off another round of speculation about the next big thing.
As reported earlier this week in your Lake County News-Sun, the latest capital campaign announces that “the road to #SFGAM2016 begins now” and features two different videos riddled with clues.
One features a wooden roller coaster that looks a lot like the American Eagle and a spotlight that looks a lot like the Bat Signal. The other features three hooded figures spray-painting graffiti in a tunnel that includes words like “ha ha” and various symbols.
And here come the guesses on Facebook, with all spelling and grammatical errors left intact to keep things organic:
“I feel like Joker The Ride will be coming because the spray painted ‘ha ha’ on there and the spotlight in the sky spells ‘coming soon’ in Jokers hand writing.”
“Justice Leuge dark ride. We might get 2 things next year. Justice Leuge and something else where the RC use to be. But I know we’re getting Justice Leuge for shore.”
“Its a dueling batman and robin ride. They ask about that type of ride interest during their polls.”
“O’s could mean 4 things: joker Larson loop, JL (virtual loop), skyscreamer, or 4d s&s coaster.”
If I interpret that last one correctly, the appearance of O-shaped graffiti could mean a Joker Chaos Coaster designed by Larson International (as seen at Six Flags Over Georgia); a Justice League: Battle for Metropolis interactive “dark ride” (as seen at Six Flags Over Texas); a SkyScreamer spinning tower ride (as seen at eight other Six Flags parks); or a Fourth Dimension horizontal-spinning coaster designed by S&S Worldwide (as seen at Six Flags Fiesta Texas).
Or maybe I’m wrong, and those were instructions on how to assemble a nest of drawers from Ikea.
If more fuel needed to be added to the fire, it was done so when Great America officials sent out invitations to a “major announcement and media event” on Sept. 3 that included phrases like “Be a Superhero” and “Calling All Superheroes” and “Get Your Super Hero Cape Ready.” Also tucked inside the invitation that made its way to the News-Sun was a Green Lantern cape, complete with his rather unique circular logo.
Wait a minute. Those O symbols in the tunnel? They look like — you might want to sit down for this — Green Lantern logos.
Unless I miss my guess, Boy Wonder, something DC Comics this way comes. And whatever it is, it probably will be much more expensive than Malibu Stacy’s hat.
Twitter @NewsSunDanMoran
