Our Love Was Made for Movie Screens
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Author: dettiot
Rating: M
Summary: A series of movie AU ficlets featuring Oliver and Felicity. Part of my Olicity Movie AU Challenge.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Arrow or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author’s Note: If I wasn’t already going to hell, this ficlet would probably do the trick. This is inspired by the Castle Anthrax scene of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I hope you enjoy all the comedic blasphemy!
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Sir Oliver the Pure rode hard through the rolling countryside, his noble servant by his side and only the thought of his quest in his mind. For Sir Oliver, like the rest of King Arthur’s knights, had a sacred task to guide his actions: finding the Holy Grail.
“Sir!” His servant Roy cried out, pointing ahead of them. “Do you see yon beacon?”
He drew up short, looking in the direction that Roy was pointing. “I do,” Sir Oliver said, feeling his breath leave his body. “‘Tis like the Grail, is it not?”
“It is,” Roy agreed, looking at him. “What shall we do?”
“We have but one option, Roy–ride to yonder castle and demand that they reveal if they have the Grail,” Sir Oliver said.
“Aye, sir,” Roy said, following Sir Oliver as they approached the dilapidated-looking castle.
They entered the castle keep unmolested and unnoticed. Sir Oliver swept his eyes over the inner courtyard, feeling an itch on the back of his neck. His hand drifted towards his sword, then twitched his bow from one hand to the other. He did not like the looks of this. Because if the castle was as deserted as it looked, who had lit the Grail beacon?
Striding boldly forward, Sir Oliver banged on the doors into the castle. “Open! In the name of King Arthur, I command you open the door!”
The sound of rusty bolts turning halted Sir Oliver’s fist and he stepped back. But when the door opened, he felt his eyes go wide.
Sir Oliver was known as the Pure and the Chaste for several reasons. Originally it had been a mocking title, as before he had seen the error of his ways, he was known for deflowering several virginal pure maidens, in some cases making the lady yield her crown of olive leaves on the very day of marriage. Yet now, his title was meant honestly. He had dedicated his life to the search for the Holy Grail, remaking his body into a holy vessel, cleansing himself of any desire for fleshy delights. He had solemnly vowed that the only reward he sought was that of heaven.
Yet his vow was being tested–extremely–by the maiden before him.
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