Get me home and settled!

Of all the blogs I have written and the many more to come, I can probably say with an honest and open heart, that this one is the hardest I will have ever written, but it has been a long time coming.







I have made the decision to finally go back state side. As many of my closer friends know, this is something I have wanted to do for years. My return to the states is not the most ideal of situations. I am going back to a home that no longer exists, no job awaits me, and what possessions I will be taking with me fit in a single suitcase (and maybe one large box to ship over).  My children will be staying here with their father to finish school and hopefully in the future they will take advantage of their dual citizenship and use that to travel the world.




I am aiming to be back in the US by mid-September. During this last year, I have been able to rediscover myself and get closer to my "old self" again. Many of you know me through the vape community and not outside of it, before vaping took over my life. I am often told I am harsh, too honest, that I do not approach situations with gentleness. On the other hand, I am often praised for my honesty, my willingness to jump head-first into a situation, and for often saying the things many other people would be afraid to say. Those of you who know me personally, see past the online persona that you, my readers, are familiar with.




I am a gentle person, funny, a bit stoopid, caring and I would go out of my way to do anything for any one I call a friend. I'm also a big scaredy cat. That has a lot to do with the bad relationship I was in. I was afraid of everyone and everything. I lost touch with reality a couple of times and thanks to strong friends and total strangers, I have been able to repair myself as best as possible. Unfortunately, the last step to getting myself back to me, can not be found on this beautiful rain soaked island. I need my family and my friends who have known me the entirety of my life. I need to apologize to my Uncles for being so damn late to their funerals and I need take my fight for vaping, back to the turf I am most familiar with.

You can check out my blog here VapeMeStoopid to find out a little more about what I do in the vape community.




As some of you may know, moving country isn't exactly cheap. When I came to the UK, we brought with us over $10,000 and packed our most precious belongings into 10 suitcases and 5 carry ons. Going back? I am relying completely on the kindness of my friends. Many of them suggested I set up a GoFundMe page so that I could at least make sure most of my stuff gets sent back and that I have enough money to sustain me until I can find employment (other than freelance writing because as much as I love it, the pay is peanuts) but I have a hard time asking anyone for anything. My house's words have always been, "Don't worry, I'll figure it out." and for the most part, that has always been true. However, I won't disillusion you, I am fucking winging it with barely enough money to feed myself each month. Rent is paid, bills are paid, then what little is left, must remain untouched. In a country as expensive as this one, I think I do quite well on less than £650 a month. But that leaves little room for anything else.







So far (unconfirmed as of today) I have planned most of the trip back to the states. I will leave Birmingham for Dublin and then catch a direct flight to JFK in NYC. There, I will spend time with two of my best friends, whom I have known since I was 5. Hopefully, I will get to see my older brother and sisters and other family as well as some of my friends from High School again. I want to check out the vape scene in upstate NY first. So if any of you are in the Mid-Hudson Valley, get in touch! From there, I am hoping to make it back to Montana. I wish this was going to be like a little vacation for me, but in all reality, it's a new beginning. One that I have put off for far too long.





Anything you can help with would be greatly appreciated. Whether it be money or a place to crash, hey who's up for a road trip?  I'm down!