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Boulder, Colorado, where ‘everyone is trying to get high’ - though not necessarily on drugs.
Boulder, Colorado, where ‘everyone is trying to get high’ - though not necessarily on drugs.

High times in the Boulder bubble, by comedian Kelly MacLean

This article is more than 9 years old

Healthy eating, yoga and orgasm meditation are the norm in this Colorado city of open spaces, beautiful people – and legal pot

In kindergarten, my friends and I would meditate in the playground. Everybody would be snacking on carob and quinoa. It was just what the hippy kids ate in Boulder. That was like half the class.

We refer to Boulder as the bubble. There’s this utopian quality where everybody is pretty happy and healthy and good-looking. It’s within this beautiful circle of open space with tons of trails, so it is a bit of a paradise. The sky is an ever-changing work of art.

Everyone in Boulder is always trying to get high, and not just because of the legalisation of marijuana. People could be trying to get that high from doing an ultra marathon, from education or spiritual studies, or in one of the city’s popular oxygen bars.

I was shocked to see my middle school English teacher in a pot shop. You see a pretty fair sampling of Boulderites there. The culture was always accepting of cannabis, but now that it’s legal, a lot of people are giving it a go. Some older women are breaking out their bell bottoms and smoking up for the first time in decades.

Kelly MacLean: “Everyone in Boulder is in perfect shape. They say ‘See you at yoga’, not ‘Let’s grab a beer’.”

Orgasm meditation is this new thing in Boulder. It’s centred on the female orgasm and practitioners believe it can send you to a higher consciousness. There’s also gongs and things. I can’t go that far, even with my journalistic curiosity, but my friend put me on the email list as a joke. It’s called OneTaste.

If you go to Boulder, you could feel fat. Everyone is in perfect, perfect shape. Boulder is the only town in the world where you’ll see a $5,000 bike mounted on a $900 car. You hear people saying: “I’ll see you at yoga.” You’ll never hear: “Wanna go grab a cheeseburger and a beer?”

The Whole Foods store sums up all that’s wrong with the place. Once I saw a guy honk his horn there and swerve round a pregnant woman. As he sped off, I saw his licence plate, which said “Namaste”. There’s this feeling that people are showcasing their high-mindedness and compassion, until they get into the Whole Foods parking lot and then they’re total dicks like everybody else.

You’ve got to be careful when they invite you out for dinner and drinks in Boulder: it might turn out to be salad and kombucha (a fermented tea drink). Some of my friends took me for drinks at a restaurant called Shine, which serves a lot of elixirs – tonics of various herbs. I ordered a martini, then realised everybody else was ordering alcohol-free kombucha cocktails.

Everywhere you go people are wearing diaper-like bike shorts. Even if you go to the nicest restaurant in town, Frasca, people will be dressed like they’re just grabbing a quick nine-course meal before scaling Longs Peak.

It’s not at all strange to say namaste to someone. And not just in yoga class. People say it to you in the street. They may even say the English version: “The power and light in me acknowledges the power and light in you.”

You’ll get one of the best coffees at Boxcar Coffee. It’s in this big shop called Cured that has imported meats and cheeses from all round the world and a really incredible wine shop in the back. You can get a coffee and some nice bread, cheese, wine and just hang out there.

Frasca is the fanciest restaurant in Boulder, but people still go in there in their cycle shorts

I’d probably start a night out at The Kitchen Upstairs. It’s a lovely cocktail bar above a restaurant. There’s also a place called the Bitter Bar that has great cocktails and good appetisers and more of a speakeasy feel.

Boulder farmers’ market is huge. A lot of big products you now see everywhere – like Justin’s peanut butter cups, which are now in every Starbucks, started there. It’s really wonderful.

The best place to hang out is Pearl Street mall. It’s basically where all the best bars and restaurants and shops are. It leads right up to the mountains so it’s very beautiful as well.

eTown hall is a performance space set up by the people behind the NPR radio show. You can go and watch them recording the show, and it’s also this nice theatre with other things on. They have a great storytelling show called Truth Be Told.

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