Looking to get away–both in a physical sense and in a mental state sense? Looking for a reason to finally finish off that entire bag of Oreos in one sitting? The Santee Sioux tribe has announced its plans to open the country's first weed resort in South Dakota. While pot isn't legal in the state, this June, the Justice Department gave the group permission to grow and sell marijuana.
"We want it to be an adult playground," tribal President Anthony Reider told the Associated Press. "There's nowhere else in American that has something like this."
Here are 10 things you'll be able to do at this proposed weed resort:
1. Gamble
Does the dealer think I'm counting cards? Am I counting cards? Wait, are the cards supposed to add up to 21? Are sixes high? Am I high?
2. Enjoy the great outdoors on the resort's ranch.
Or, spend a few hours trying to figure out why horses chew.
3. Go game in the arcade.
And get completely overwhelmed by the lights and noises and sheer reflexes required to play Time Crisis 5.
4. Party at the nightclub.
Where everyone is just standing around awkwardly avoiding eye contact and not speaking to one another because they can't feel their face during "Can't Feel My Face."
5. Spend the night in the hotel.
Instead of enjoying any of these other activities, just order as much food as possible and watch The Wall in your room, like the old days.
6. Eat at the restaurant.
Literally the most crowded place in the resort. At all times.
7. See a concert.
Of course you're into a 24/7 revolving door of Phish/Grateful Dead/Pink Floyd cover bands.
8. Buy weed. (Legally!)
Obviously. And it'll cost $12.50 to $15 for a 1-gram bag.
9. Chill at the smoke lounge.
It's probably pretty crowded, but who can see through all this smoke?
10. Support the Santee Sioux tribe.
They hope to use the revenue to redo their clinic, build more housing, and create an addiction treatment center. No snark here!
Next:
Whiz Kalifa's 12 tips for smoking weed.
