Youth empowerment essential work of Bob Auchincloss

Bob Auchincloss, 84, an understated local philanthropist and steadfast board chair of R.E.A.L. Skills Network, died this summer.

Almost every week, Bob and his insightful wife Bonnie Auchincloss, enjoyed local human service and arts events. From the annual Lateef Islam Memorial at the Family Partnership Center and John Flowers’ Father’s Day Parade on Main Street, to Spark Media’s international youth film festival at the Bardavon and youth art show openings at Mill Street Loft, they were there.

Yet, for the past eight years, Bob’s chief community focus was R.E.A.L. Skills Network, an inner-city youth empowerment program, with Tree Arrington as executive director.

Auchincloss and Arrington, amazingly different in skills and disposition, were great friends for 30 years. They had enormous fun together, yet their focus never slipped from their mutual commitment to successfully support young people in profound and unorthodox ways.

Arrington is clear that Auchincloss is the main person who coaxed him off his couch, back to community work, after the devastating death of his mentor, Lateef Islam. Arrington never tires of repeating, “Without Bob, there is no R.E.A.L. Skills.”

Auchincloss, who often operated in creative ways, wrote his own obituary (Poughkeepsie Journal, July 25, 2015) in which he documents his fascinating life in an orderly and unpretentious way. He tells of the accomplishments of his prominent family, famous people his has met, from T.S. Eliot to Pearl Bailey, and reported on his unusual passions that included kayaks, hot air balloons and motorcycles (that last of which he retired earlier this year).

Yet, Bob left out, and maybe never fully understood, his most dominant and attractive qualities: Curiosity and courage.

Bob was interested in every person, machine or event he came across; but Bob was spellbound by kids.

Around young people Bob’s eyes glistened, and his remarkably symmetrical smile was accompanied by an almost inaudible, delightful chuckle. It was his low-key way of rooting for every kid he met. And they knew it.

Although he never flaunted it, Bob had remarkable courage.

I saw this courage in an ordinary way at those rare times when Bob and Tree disagreed. The larger-than-life Tree was quick to use his menacing combination of rationality, volume and bluster. Bob’s face and position would remain unchanged, and he would quietly and fearlessly indicate he was ready for the next exchange. (I withered watching!)

Bob’s courage was evident on a cosmic level at the June board meeting of R.E.A.L. Skills when, after all the business was taken care of, he told everyone he had cancer and was looking forward to starting Hospice care the next day. Bob graciously accepted a few heartfelt tributes, then signaled the end of the meeting by folding up the chairs.

And that’s the way the decent, dignified Bob Auchincloss lived.

Peter Leonard is a freelance writer. Contact him at peterleonard73@gmail.com