Quick tips from the DIY Dutchess

It’s wedding season and not-for-profit fundraising season, folks. It seems there are at least two or three fundraising events occurring every night, and the weekends are completely monopolized by weddings. And let’s not forget about prom, although those days are a far distant memory for me.

I don’t know about all of you, but when I attend events, I find that I delay sitting down simply because I’m overwhelmed at the sight of the overpopulated table settings. With glasses and goblets galore, and what seems to be bread plate on top of bread plate, I get stressed out before I even sit down. And, too, it’s not like I’m going to cart around my hard copy book of manners with me to these outings.

Please, it won’t fit in my clutch.

Still, when attending these events, there are a plethora of manners to remember and maintain. The formalities could leave your head spinning like a top.

When I do finally sit down, I inevitably will purse my mouth over to one side, squint one eye and ponder which piece of bread I can chomp on, or which glass I can, at that point, guzzle from. I ask myself, “Is this my bread? Is this my drink?”

Who knows at these special events. You’re trying to keep up with the Joneses — you don’t dare act like you’re not sure of something and then the time comes to sit down, and you’re looking at everything on the table and your eyes start rolling around like the Grinch when he thinks of all the noise, noise, noise at Christmas.

Well, I’m no Emily Post, but I can tell you that I have a quick tip for figuring out whose bread is whose, and what glass to drink out of.

Look no further than your hands, my friends. Your left hand is going to tell you to eat bread from that side, and your right hand is going to tell you that you need to drink from that side. Let me explain:

Make your hands into a “b” and a “d.” Your left hand is the “b” and your right is the “d.” That tells you which side of your place setting is your bread and which side is your drink.

Now that I’ve shared this trick, you can be like me and surreptitiously do this little play with your hands under the table every time you sit down at one of these hootenannies. Even though I know the proper protocol now, it has become a habit to make my hands into a b and a d. I guess we can call that double checking, playing it safe. Now, if we could just get the neighbor on the left to eat their own bread.

It’s so comforting to know that once again, your hands can get you out of a questionable pickle. No more second-guessing whose bread is whose, or if you’re drinking out of the correct glass. This little tip will keep you in good standing, and your table manners will remain in check.

Brooke Fedigan is the DIY Dutchess. Contact her at befedagain@gmail.com

Lighten your load when planting big pots

DIY Dutchess offers bevy of home ideas

Video online

Visit www.poughkeepsiejournal.com to watch a video of this week’s DIY Dutchess

Be Fed Again blog

Visit Be Fed Again, Brooke Fedigan’s blog, at: http://brooke-fedigan.squarespace.com/